Ch. 41 - True fear conquers all fears

This chapter has always bothered me but Steinsaltz says something insightful in his book which I actually somewhat relate to (for a change). I guess the whole concept of fear or awe/respect has always been a tough one for me personally but I think a lot of people from my upbringing may feel the same way. We were brought up with no real societal role models to look up to, in a world that seemed very cynical and devoid of absolute good. So I also grew up cynical and disrespectful back to that world and to my own role in it. How many years were spent chasing after what is the meaning of life with no real answers.



So now all of a sudden after twenty years someone turns to you and says - the meaning of life is Torah and Mitzvot - in the words of Ecclestiastes - at the end of the thing, everything is heard, and to fear G-d and keep His commandments - this is all of man. So Steinsaltz explains that this insight, this revelation that life has meaning is at the core of fearing G-d. Not necessarily to respect Him but to respect the purpose and role that has been given to you by Him. To focus on the truth that He has entrusted you with a task and is counting on you and no one else to complete that task in this world. Again, nice words, but we still haven't broken through the cynicism.



Immediately, my mind reels at the implications - if I succeed... but how can I succeed in performing a G-dly mission with G-dly standards and expectations. I mean it was tough enough getting into a good college and that was a human level task...and if I fail - you'll take the fall for this venture's failure...everyone will know your name and shirk away in shame. I'm overdramatizing, of course.



The answer must be that I'm not expected to complete G-d task - I'm too limited and mortal but he gave me a treasure that does have a G-dly potential and that is my soul - if I succeed in freeing it - giving vent to it - then it has in its power to do these kinds of impossible things that I'm expected to accomplish. So the knowledge that you can succeed must balance out one's strong belief in the appropriateness and plausibility of the personal mission, and one's responsibility in bringing it to fruition.



The Rebbe talks a great deal about the treasury of divine awe that G-d shares with those soldiers who go out to fight the good fight (Basi Legani - "I came to my garden" - 1950-1990). In short, once a person throws themselves into the battle with their challenges, they will begin to feel the importance of their purpose. Similarly, we see that once we get ourselves into a situation where there is no turning back, we have to believe in our ability to go forward and win. At that point, our very essential life force hinges on that belief, and we do want to live.



By the way, the Rebbe associates this concept with the understanding that this world is G-d's garden. Even though we can't see it with our physical eyes, the physical world is filled with fruit bearing ventures. We fight for the garden ideal because the Torah tells us it exists in front of us and if we just jump in and open our eyes we will also glimpse it.