Ch. 41 Fear of Perfection Continued

So a person must eventually face the music that what is required is the experession of some innate state of divine perfection. All the G-dly wisdom and inspiration is meant to stir us to reveal and adopt a more perfect lifestyle. And this is achieved by jumping headfirst into one's purpose in life.

So there are two problems still. First, what if I don't want to jump into it? And what if once I've jumped into it I still find I'm not keeping all parts of the Shulchan Aruch?

The first question is a question that the Rebbe addresses at length throughout many discourses in terms of the preciousness of becoming a messenger a Sent One, in this world. Maybe the question isn't so much about wanting to be one but rather wanting to do what it takes to be one. It's easy to want to be rich, it's much harder to put together a business plan and carry it out. The link between learning and doing is always through prayer. Prayer helps to draw the things that you value into an emotional connection with that thing and eventually to its translation into the physical realm in the form of deeds.

This is related to the previous point. I find the more I'm removed from my everyday environment, the more actively my heart opens up. Sometimes prayer is just a contemplation of all the things I need, and sometimes it's a real cry for help. The farther you are, the more prayer becomes a simple cry, a shofar blast. Shlichus may coalesce around us as we alternate between shofar blasts and more intellect-based activities. It seems we're not actually making a plan and carrying it out, but rather living from day to day trying to bring down the piece for that day and not really knowing how it will fit into the overall jigsaw puzzle. Our physical life is structured - we have to go to work, to eat, to fool around - these things we understand how they come about and why. But the shlichus of the day is hidden - we merely catch momentary glimpses.

Then what about bringing about a state of perfection? Will I never have a perfect day? What about just keeping the whole Shulchan Aruch for a day? In short, when will I be a Beinoni? These are bigger questions that really belong to the beginning of Tanya.

To be a shliach simply means that the commandment, the good deed I'm doing now is not because of habit or for my own personal intersts but because I feel I have a G-d given duty to carry it out. I have the power to elevate that deed to make it light up the world around me, and it in turn has the power to elevate me and enlighten me.

Ch. 41 - True fear conquers all fears

This chapter has always bothered me but Steinsaltz says something insightful in his book which I actually somewhat relate to (for a change). I guess the whole concept of fear or awe/respect has always been a tough one for me personally but I think a lot of people from my upbringing may feel the same way. We were brought up with no real societal role models to look up to, in a world that seemed very cynical and devoid of absolute good. So I also grew up cynical and disrespectful back to that world and to my own role in it. How many years were spent chasing after what is the meaning of life with no real answers.



So now all of a sudden after twenty years someone turns to you and says - the meaning of life is Torah and Mitzvot - in the words of Ecclestiastes - at the end of the thing, everything is heard, and to fear G-d and keep His commandments - this is all of man. So Steinsaltz explains that this insight, this revelation that life has meaning is at the core of fearing G-d. Not necessarily to respect Him but to respect the purpose and role that has been given to you by Him. To focus on the truth that He has entrusted you with a task and is counting on you and no one else to complete that task in this world. Again, nice words, but we still haven't broken through the cynicism.



Immediately, my mind reels at the implications - if I succeed... but how can I succeed in performing a G-dly mission with G-dly standards and expectations. I mean it was tough enough getting into a good college and that was a human level task...and if I fail - you'll take the fall for this venture's failure...everyone will know your name and shirk away in shame. I'm overdramatizing, of course.



The answer must be that I'm not expected to complete G-d task - I'm too limited and mortal but he gave me a treasure that does have a G-dly potential and that is my soul - if I succeed in freeing it - giving vent to it - then it has in its power to do these kinds of impossible things that I'm expected to accomplish. So the knowledge that you can succeed must balance out one's strong belief in the appropriateness and plausibility of the personal mission, and one's responsibility in bringing it to fruition.



The Rebbe talks a great deal about the treasury of divine awe that G-d shares with those soldiers who go out to fight the good fight (Basi Legani - "I came to my garden" - 1950-1990). In short, once a person throws themselves into the battle with their challenges, they will begin to feel the importance of their purpose. Similarly, we see that once we get ourselves into a situation where there is no turning back, we have to believe in our ability to go forward and win. At that point, our very essential life force hinges on that belief, and we do want to live.



By the way, the Rebbe associates this concept with the understanding that this world is G-d's garden. Even though we can't see it with our physical eyes, the physical world is filled with fruit bearing ventures. We fight for the garden ideal because the Torah tells us it exists in front of us and if we just jump in and open our eyes we will also glimpse it.

Ch. 41: The Love of the Nations

True Act of Lovingkindness from a Chassidic perspective, are not a natural product of human nature. All humans, by nature, have both human and animal tendencies. To manifest the human tendencies over the animal tendencies requires labor. The animal tendencies in most of us are basic and well-entrenched from childhood. So how does human society function?



A good deed can either raise or not raise a person, depending on the motivation behind it. So does this mean that you shouldn't help the old lady across the road anymore - supposedly the definition of good deeds doesn't even begin with preventing harm to another person. If you are able to protects someone from injury, to do so is not a good deed, it's preventing you from being an accomplice in their demise.



But is every good deed equally good. We know from personal experience that they're not.



There is a story of two Chassidim in the time of the Alter Rebbe who were sent to a particular Chassidic community to collect money for the redemption of hostages. (At the time, the

Russian local squires were in the habit of incarcerating any Jews that were caught without proper papers and incarcerating them until a ransom arrived for their release). When these Chassidim arrived and announced their mission to the heads of the community, they swung into action making lists of people with the amount to be paid by each household and sending out collectors to collect cash or the cash equivalents to be used in acquiring the needed money. When this had been accomplished, they sat down to a festive celebration of their great merit in being asked to participate in such a lofty undertaking. Every member of the community truly felt privileged to be a member, or a stock owner in modern terms, in the Alter Rebbe's organization - to pay in their share that guaranteed their connection to the Rebbe's works, and therefore to G-d purpose for them in this world.



This is what it means for Tzedaka to elevate a nation - after you pay in your fair share you should feel like the proud owner of stocks in G-d, Inc. It should make you feel more responsible and make you want to take a more active role as a steward in this organization you are a part of. You're not just a member in name, you're a due-paying, active participant. You feel better about yourself but not because you have bragging rights, you just feel like your toil on this planet has a justification and an outlet in something that's higher.

Ch. 40 cont'd: A Healthy Thirst

The drive behind every healthy relationship is good chemistry or attraction. What builds our attraction to Torah, is prayer, nurturing a healthy desire for the Giver of the Torah. The Previous Rebbe explains that Prayer must consist of three aspects of knowledge - knowing yourself, knowing the significance of the request or the prayer experience, and knowing and appreciating the power of the One to whom we are praying (On the Teachings of Chassidus, Ch. 6).

The prayer experience is supposed to awaken in us a renewed realization of our need for G-d in our lives and his role in fulfilling our every need. From that posture, I can begin my relationship with the Torah, with the respect and desire befitting His wisdom. Respect and Desire, or Fear and Love, are the wings that elevate our learning or performance of the commandments and raise them above the doldrums of the mundane.

By the way, prayer doesn't happen just in a synagogue. It could take place on a bus, in the kitchen or in your office. Whenever I step out of the noise of my present situation and reflect about something that is bothering me - my own role in helping or hurting someone, my needs and desires for myself, my family or the world, I'm creating a prayer state. At the same time, I have to also make sure that all three parts are equally represented.

Usually, it's easy to know the significance of what you need- that is what is weighing on me so heavily and dragging me away from concentrating on the present. Most people, also, as we get older have a better and better sense of who is the person asking - how much am I deserving of what it is that I'm asking for, and what am I doing on my own to make a vessel for receiving it. What I find most difficult usually is appreciating the power of G-d and His ability to instantaneously release us from what seem like a hopeless situation.

After all, having simple faith and trust in G-d is a lifetime's work - but we have to know that every prayer state has to involve this aspect as well. That is the power of the words of prayer we recite on a daily basis, Morning, Afternoon, and Night. They are the universal and eternal expression of our simple faith in G-d's constant involvement in giving us, and the rest of creation, what we need when we need it.

Prayer fuels our "attraction" to G-d and therefore to his wisdom as accessible in the words of the Torah. When a person realizes their attraction to another person, they want to immediately find a way to get closer to that person, to have a conversation with them, to express your passion in their own way. The Torah is an outlet for that passion. As the Alter Rebbe himself brings the quote from the prophet - one who is thirsty should go to water. Once you are thirsty for G-d, you should know that He is waiting to speak to you, for you to call out to him through the learning of Torah.

Chapter 40 - The Next World from a Torah Scholar's Perspective

The Alter Rebbe tells us the only way for our Torah to shine in the higher spiritual realms is by re-learning it with new intentions. The inner dimension behind this is that for a person to truly strip a concept of its physical garments, one has to peel back layer after layer of physicality.

Even though the metaphor was given as a vessel that must also be taken at face value - the inner light inside of it is only revealed after laboring to get inside of it and investing your own energy into it.

For instance, in any relationship between two people, in order for one person to strip back the shields and masks that surround their mate, one has to remove some of their own shields and masks. You have to put yourself out on the line for the other person, making yourself vulnerable in the process to rejection and ridicule.

Of course, in the modern world, there's lots of different ways that a person can go out on a limb while still staying within the warm confines of their home. One can send an email or leave a voice mail, and await a response. In the same way, in the pursuit of wisdom, we're able to take baby steps towards unveiling our true selves and await a response.

Chassidus does not require that one become a tzaddik overnight. The Rebbe says in a sicha, on Chanuka, that just like we add just one candle each night, so we must also realize that moving forward is just one small step at a time. We can't leap forward and try to reveal something that's not yet ready to be revealed. The Torah will wait for us to come back to it when we are ready to go to the next stage and the next level of understanding, and peel back another layer in the quest for the hidden light that shines from it.